I’m forty-one and single! Four words I never thought I would be saying at this age, but here we are. I am the girl who has had her whole wedding planned since she was a kid…I understand marriage is more than a wedding, but it is what most women dream about, and I am no different.
I’m originally from Chattanooga, TN, but I have lived in Nashville for 12 years. By day I am an Implementations Project Coordinator and by night I am a Lifestyle Blogger. I wanted to blog for years, but could never decide what to blog about. Then a couple of years before my 40th birthday, I was heading to a blogging event (with no blog) and decided I couldn’t go without a blog so I sat on the couch and threw out ideas and finally landed on sharing my life as someone who is almost 40 and not married with kids. I figured I wasn’t the only one so I thought it would work. My blog literally began a few hours before the event. My blog has evolved since then because my life has. The goal now is to live my best life and whatever that looks like for me. My plan is to help myself and others learn to love the life they have instead of the one they envisioned. Crowned CaNesha…The Realties of My Fairy Tale is where I hope you will get inspiration, laugh with me and sometimes cry with me. But at the end of the day I hope you find your happy.
I actually had it all planned out. I would meet my future husband in college; once we graduated, we would get married, work a few years, travel and then start a family by our late 20s. I wanted 2-3 kids, so we couldn’t wait too long.
None of that happened…not even close. I graduated and moved back home for about 6 years, but I still had hope it would happen. As the years passed, my hope dwindled and then one day, I woke up and I was 40, single and no kids. I felt like life was passing me by. I wasn’t living, I just existed.
I never thought I would be here. At times, I wonder how I got here like why me, why am I not married with kids. I feel like it’s who I should be but I also know if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans.
I always heard women say when you enter your forties is when you begin to live, so I made a pact with myself that 40 would be different. At the end of the day, I may never get married or have kids. I’m still hopeful but realistic too.
What I do know is that I have to learn to live my life with or without a husband and kids.
I thought long and hard about what a good life looks like and how can I make it work for me. I decided I wanted to begin to live my best life.
How am I living my Best Life:
Living in the Moment
Growing and Learning
Pursuing my Passions
Enjoying my Family and Friends
Working on Loving me where I am Right Now
Life is to be lived and enjoyed! As much as we want to predict the future, we can’t, so we have to take it day by day. Live for the day and don’t worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow isn’t promised so choose today to live, laugh and love.
This is not easy… I’m a work in progress. I can’t say I don’t care if I ever get married and have kids because that’s not true, but I would also be doing myself a disservice if I continue to only focus on that.
I turned 40 May 13, 2017, and since then I have been on a mission to do and be better. I wake up every day focusing on what a happy life looks like to me and I go to sleep every night praying about it. At the end of the day, when people look at me, I want them to say “she looks happy.”
Sometimes I wonder if this is what God was waiting on…waiting on me to find my happiness and to be whole before he gives me the desires of my heart. I am not sure, but I am going to focus on enjoying this thing called life and have faith that it will all work out in the end.